Much a debate between the old school and the more current parents and grandparents about the exposure of the birds and bees issue have gotten the writer amused, bemused and bewildered! The display of affection, poking and teasing are such a wonderful display of friendship at its most innocent and pure, should be treasured and nurtured, but amazingly many elderly and the protective adults shun this act in fear of adultery! Huh?
“You shouldn’t encourage such behavior,” was a stern warning that came like a sharp slap when I humored one of my elder family members about the boy-girl relationship. I was telling a story about my son’s friend who is 9 years old, who had professed his undying love to his female classmate only to get a rejection in the form of “…if you love me, please go far, far away!” I thought that the response was hilarious, given that the girl is also 9! However, the harsh warning set me aback and got me seriously thinking about the future of our young.
I figured that accepting the fact that my sons and daughter will eventually grow up and have relationship issues, I’d keep an open mind and most importantly make it known to them that I am supportive. I even asked my young boys if they had girlfriends. I told them that it would be great if they would introduce their girlfriends to me so we could all be friends. These were their responses:
Son 1 (10 years old): I don’t have a girlfriend. Why do you want to know?
Son 2 (8 years old): I don’t have a girlfriend. If I had one, I won’t tell you. I won’t introduce her to you.
Son 3 (6 years old): Hehehe. I want to marry you!
From their early responses, I can pretty much gauge what to expect in the future. I still ask them if they would like me to be friends with the girlfriends. It has since progressively become more positive, because I show genuine interest and portray no hostility. My thought is, why deny the inevitable? Would keeping them cocooned and sheltered, naïve and curious a better medicine?
The current fear that encouraging the young to forge relationship at such a tender year would open doors to sinful ideas and acts. I’m thinking, the more they don’t know, the more they’ll try to know. So, why not feed them with the information then educate them about the right and wrong?
The current trend sees the young experimenting with oral sex as young as 9 years old behind the school bus and bushes. God knows what they’ve been exposed to…but to actually believe we can shelter our children from such knowledge in the current digitized age is simply ridiculous – in my most humble opinion, that is.
Then again, the fact that the 9 year old have learned at her age an idea that mimics the saying “if you love someone, let her go. If she returns to you than love her but if she doesn’t then it was never meant to be…” – pretty smart 9 year old isn’t she? So what would be the smarter thing for us to do? Honestly, I would recommend growing up too.
