I’ve been searching for lost words and the fleeting memories that I momentarily felt when my daughter reminded me of my birthday on its eve. I used to write every thought but these days, I only have time to try and remember — most times, my memory slips and fails me. I have since realised that I have forgotten how blue the skies can be, how the fresh the grass feels under my feet and how a shared joke with tearing laughter used to fill my trips home from school - when I was the child and my mother was the adult at the driver’s seat.
I catch myself stealing seconds and minutes of my days to savour the feelings of happiness when my daughter smile and her eyes twinkle. I jealously guard my nights to experience the surge of pride when my sons strut handsomely as young men across the room. I just sit and watch them. Then there’s that tug of pain and missing my mother as I watch her age before me. I feel the fatigue from my source of strength and my rock husband, who seems equally exhausted with the toil of life.
Yet, Ramadhan brought peace and humility to the home. Quiet and serene, somehow the tiring days are eased with nights of prayers and solitude…I always like it when it comes. I get to have private calls and conversations with my Creator, sometimes so intimate, the blessings of Ramadan is immensely felt. There hasn’t been a time that I asked, HE did not answer…he even woke me up at 2am sharp, because I had every intention to waking dan make that ‘date'. I had a good conversation that morning…
Then my birthday came…I almost forgot. My daughter was only too eager to remind. But it was a working day filled with errands and duties to fulfill. Didn’t feel much like a celebration…but, I was wrong. I was surprised by the wonderful BNI GreatWall Leaders who bought me cake, though I could not have it until hours later at iftar. Still, it was a beautiful surprise…for someone who is rarely celebrated or surprised -- I was overwhelmed with thanks.
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| The wonderful Cake by BNI GreatWall Leaders |
Then a torrential of beautiful messages came my way from Facebook, LinkedIN and Whatsapp…It should have been expected — but it wasn’t for me. So, I took the time to thank every wish and read every message. Ramadhan taught me so much...it especially taught me that I was wrong for I am not alone. At iftar, I was feasted with a wonderful fruity pavlova and the family got me the fitbit — totally out of my expectations. My mother gave me an ang pau which I used to buy a blue scarf for Eid. In reflection…my conversations were heard.
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| Yummy Pavlova |
…and so HE said, and I am reminded yet again, “Call on to ME and I will run to you…” What I feel like saying is : I am loved and I am never alone. So, in all humility I cast my gratitude to all who had made my 42nd birthday a day of awareness that the sky is still very blue, the grass is still very green and my beautiful family is ever willing to laugh and tear if we must, even in exhaustion and old age, insyaAllah — for love is eternal and HE is with us always.
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| With Adli |
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| With Mak |
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| With Nadra |
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| With Naqyb & Nazyh |
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| With Nayl |
