My Sinful Malay Heritage

Bubur Caca

I am Malay and I love my Malay dishes.  My Gulai Lemak Cili Padi, Sambal Ikan Bilis, Nasi Lemak, Rendang Ayam, Pecal Kacang with Nasi Impit and Rendang Daging, Sate and Kuah Kacang, Nasi Goreng Sambal Belacan (wuhoo!), Ikan Goreng Bercili, Ketupat Pulut, Pulut Udang and the list goes on.  I love our desert of Onde-Onde, Badak Berendam, Bubur Gandum, Kueh Akok, Tepung Pelita, Pisang Goreng, Bubur Caca, Jemput-Jemput Pisang and more yummies endorsed by sugar and oil! Of course I'm also guilty of loving our dips of Tempoyak, Budu and what was that other smelly thingy made of prawns? Yup! I love my Malay Heritage.

Ketupat Pulut

Unfortunately, the list of Malay delicious spread of food from entree, to main course and dessert is a menu for gout, high blood pressure, heart attacks and diabetes.  We usually get awfully fat and unhealthy too (or was that a given?)  So, proof that Malays lead a rather unhealthy life is their medical bills and sad self denial to simple pleasures of life in their twilight years.  I seriously don't want to go there.

Sadly though, as much as I try to be a health buff, I am born a lazy bugger.  I prefer the snooze button than the wake up call for a run in the cold morning.  I enjoy hugging my bantal busuk and hide under my blankie as oppose to toning my muscles with weights and mats. And I still would rather have my roti telur than half boiled eggs, nasi lemak instead of a muesli cereal and chug down my teh tarik as opposed to water and juice.  How leh?

Pisang Goreng

Then it occurred to me that I am having a tough time downing my healthy meals because they're not Malay.  They're just not cut out for my coconut hungry belly and I need my chili boost.  Why in the world haven't the Malays come up with a proper diet book that helps us eat our heritage food and stay healthy?

As I browsed the Internet and some popular bookstores, I find that healthy cooking are mostly reserved by non Malay recipes.  I am now kicking myself for not taking lessons in cooking so I'd know the values of calories and fat and whatever else I need to calculate to make my cooking healthy.  Even the recipes that claim to be Malaysian is actually a fusion of tastes that befits the more modern culture...which basically means the Western culture.

Pulut Udang

I wonder if I can start a movement that encourages the Malays to relook at their diet and work out a menu that is healthier.  Someone told me to substitute coconut milk with yogurt or skimmed milk.  Someone told me to buy molasses instead of processed sugar.  But what about my pulut, pisang goreng and kuah kacang?  Shall we start something here?  Let's make a menu of our liking and ask a dietician calculate the 'sin'...you think it'll work?

To Breakfast or not to Breakfast, that is the Question.

A bagel tummy I'd like to not have

My mother told me that as a child, she would pile my plate with protein and vegetables with a scoop of rice. Being Asian, rice is the staple food and so her routine received gawking mouths and disapproving looks. She rebutted with a fairly good rationale: “I don’t want my daughter to be fat!” Thirty years later (and some), I’m saying, “I don’t want to be fat!”

I was told that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Legend has it that we must eat breakfast like Kings, lunch…I think someone lesser than a king and dinner like a pauper. Today, I see people eat all meals like maggots…a never ending fiesta of food. Appalled, but hit with reality…I’m a maggot eater too. I love my fiesta of food. Being Malaysian…aiseh, what can I say? I eat all day long.

Recently, I was introduced to a personal trainer who said eat what you want but know what you consume. Then she said, try to eat breakfast after the exercise to burn the reserved fat. Then she said, put in enough cardio to improve your metabolic rate. Finally, during Ramadhan she said, run 30 minutes before break fast and burn your reserved fat…

A better looking vision of me walking my fat away

I’m a lazy bugger, but I hate being fat. I hate my bagel tummy and my jiggly jig jelly extra tyres. So, I decided to walk in Ramadhan and I lost 1 ½ inches around my butt. Now, I eat breakfast after my run and eat dinner like a pauper. I’m not miraculously slim but I feel less fat. It’s only been 2 months of effort…I’ll write it again in a few more months.

She also said, Unleashed 2012 is around the corner. I’m guessing it is a lot of exercising before breakfast and eating like paupers. But, what do I know? Still, …I wonder what I’d gain more if I did know.  What is Unleashed 2012?

Being Woman

On my birthday this year, a good friend of mind from college, now a journalist took me out for lunch.  And as much as we tried to stay casual and have girl talk, we ended up talking, like two true media players, topics on public issues.  One of our topic of interests were issues on girls and their future as women.

Underage Marriage is Prevalent in many Patriarch Society

My friend told me that while deciding what she wanted to do with her life, she decided to take up a temporary teaching job in a rural school, populated by mostly poor minority students.  She was a truly dedicated teacher and believed in her students.  She chose to teach the neglected and those other teachers labeled as rebels and a lost cause.  The students found new source of hope and strived to excel - and they did.  So, it was no wonder that it broke my friend's heart when one female student dropped out of school to be married because her father said so!  Such patriarchy has not left our so called modern and civilized world.

Reflecting on my childhood, it hit me that life as a girl was complicated.  Then again, as a woman it has not actually gotten any better. But, as an educated and independent woman, it got me through life a whole lot better.  I get to open my mouth a little bit more, especially because I am usually better prepared and well read than my male counterparts.  I am also more proactive than reactive, plus I am more willing to get my hands and feet dirty, burn my ass and argue my ass off to get my points across. Yup! I'm that girl who everybody loves to hate but can't really do without because I get my job done.

In my first few jobs, I encountered an Executive Director (ED) who was simply self absorbed. He thinks he is above the rest because the CEO in HQ thinks the world of him.  Of course, given that the corporate world IS a man's world, it was easy for him to get away with murder.  He was one of the greater manipulator I have met in all my years of living.  He would make us all come early while he struts in after lunch smelling like LUX and sets meetings at Maghrib (Muslim's evening prayers).  Then he would make the girls write the minutes and later invite the boys out to Yam Cha!

A memorable request from my ED reflected one of the many risks of being smart, educated and woman.  He called me one day and said that our company, which is an arm to the main company, is short on cash for the upcoming business year.  He highlighted that I graduated from the US and from one of the best schools in journalism.  I majored in advertising, hence have skills in writing, communication and persuasion.  Then in one breath he said, "...you're now a communication executive.  I want to you take the CEO out and show him a good time.  While at it, see if you can convince him to invest more in our company next year.  His wife will not be coming along!  That should be up your alley, right?  You did graduate from the US..."

I am an Educated Woman

Huh?  What's that supposed to mean?

Naturally I rebutted and asked, "Why me?" He said, "He likes girls."  I walked out and had a tough time getting a raise and promotion though work kept on piling up.  A colleague of mine, at that time, told me that he had insisted that she drank alcohol with the bosses to stay in the game.  She declined and said, she's Muslim.  He said, "I won't tell."  She said, "You're not my God."  She too never got her promotion or raise.

In all this time, we watched our male counterparts laze at work, never complete their assignments but goes off Yam Cha with  bosses at night and within two years, raised up the corporate ladder and lined their pockets with wealth.  Both my then colleague and I resigned.  In the 3 months I put in my letter, my salary raised from RM1,600 to RM1,800 to RM2,200.  Imagine that?  I left anyway.

Evidently, being a girl is still tough in the modernized and civilized Malaysia.  Independent for 54 years, but the women are still treated like she belongs in the kitchen and bedroom only.  I remember an ustaz (male religious teacher) in college who commented in our lecture hall that a woman can study far and attain the highest degree, but still return to the kitchen to cook and clean for her man.  We were appalled and wrote in a complaint against it.

I believe that it takes a strong woman to stand up to egoistic chauvinist and a stronger woman to raise their daughters to be unafraid.  I have much to thank my mother who has made me who I am.  My mother is indeed a woman of substance of her time and generation.  She is a divorcee and was labeled a slut and unworthy because it must've been her fault that her husband left her.  Any men, single or married, seen with her would be accused of being bewitched by my mother's mumbo jumbo.  Both men and women of her generation hold very little regards on divorced women.  Till now, I hear people say in suspicion, "what kind of a daughter does a divorcee raise but home wreckers!" Sad eh?

I think I heard a saying that says a civilization is measured by how well it treats its women.  I am adding this link because it tells us in a few simple facts why women should be educated.

http://gccblogs.concernusa.org/2011/08/05/top-5-educate-a-girl/

Strange Bedfellows?

A reporter was walking down a lane with me after an interview with a client and suddenly blurted, “ I like working with you. You’re not like most PR officers I know. You’re easy to work with and very efficient. Nice.” I was like…really? BLUSH!

After gushing out a non-audible gibberish of thanks, I asked, “Did you say most PROs are difficult? Why ah?” And suddenly the list was unending. I was completely floored.

Basically the reporter listed the following:
1) Inaccessible.
2) Arrogant and self absorbed.
3) Unreliable with timely data, vital information including audio and visual records.
4) Most times offering irrelevant and non-newsworthy pitches to their audience.
5) Irresponsible and unappreciative of the media representative’s time: atrocious time management!
6) Ignorant.
7) Ridiculously written press releases and plagued with grammatical errors.
8) Relentless and annoying with back-to-back calls for updates.
9) Telling half-truths to arrange interviews that end up as a sales pitch!

There were probably more, but it was such a whirlwind of complaints, I didn’t quite get the entire list…but I got the picture. I would’ve taken out my notebook and start jotting the nightmare, but I suppose that would’ve taken the conversation a tad bit too far off tandem. She meant to socialize and share experiences…so, I obliged (and tried very hard to maintain a sharp mental faculty to ensure I understood a press member’s unhappiness with PROs).

I wondered if she was talking about the newbies, but she commented that it is the older generations who are completely unable to untangle themselves from their ‘old school’ mentality and are the worst to handle. The younger ones, on the other hand, are disillusioned with Hollywood make-up of the field hence, are hoping for a Sex and the City version. I sighed and thought to myself, it’s no wonder my mother-in-law thinks that I get paid to party all night! I wondered if there is any one of us in between the two mentioned extremes.

Nobody knows why...

I recall a conversation with a more senior editor of one of Malaysia’s leading English paper referring to one of the gurus in our local PR scene. I was nervous about taking certain steps and strategies, based on the guru’s suggestions that I could annoy media members in the process. I suggested my strategic ideas to the editor and the editor said, “You may want to consider that your PR guru is wrong and you are right. Don’t deny the fact that you are equally educated and experienced in your own capacity. What makes you think your guru has not annoyed her press peers? Do you think that your guru has not irked her friends in the media recently? As journalists we understand your predicament, but you must also understand ours. We don’t blacklist anybody unless you REALLY screwed us up. After all, it’s too small of an industry to boycott each other. We live in a very symbiotic environment…” or something like that. (I didn’t take notes then either).

I know that press members and PROs have a long-lived love and hate relationship. It troubles me when I read articles themed “PROs and Journalists dos and don’ts” with numerous versions coming from reporters complaining about PROs lack of professionalism. For example, “We have a job to do and we are responsible to report objectively to our public, so just because you have a story, it doesn’t mean we will run it.” Then some days you read an apology for a reporter’s misquote or incorrect reporting because due diligence was not conducted, what should a PRO do then? Still, I rarely read a write-up about such errs from a PROs perspective…why is that?

I once encountered a young reporter who wanted information from me. She set an appointment and I moved my schedule around to entertain her request. Mind you that she made the call and was asking me for a favor. I traveled to her office as negotiated and called her to inform that I had arrived. I must add that the location is festered with traffic and had very few parking spots. She didn’t take the call and 20minutes later text me that she’s unavailable and asked me to come another day. Excuse me? Is my job so frivolous that she thought my time is significantly less valuable? I suppose this is one of a PRO’s irk that don’t get reported much though I don’t think it happens in isolation.

Having said all that, I assume there are members of the press and PROs out there who have a secret list of names who’d they like to send a gift in forms of blue eyes and bruised knuckles. I think both parties can agree that for every complaint one have over the other, each side has committed a crime accused to each other…it usually comes back in full circle. Finally, we can agree to disagree and I think it would be nice to admit that as much as there are rotten apples in both of our fields, there are diamonds and bejeweled talents as well.

Best of friends and the worst of enemies.

One of my ex-student caught up with me a couple of months ago. She is a journalist in one of a more reputable local finance publication. She was complaining how some PROs butt in, in interviews and cut short Q&A sessions in very untimely and rude manner. I offered her a possible scenario: the PRO was just doing her job based on instructions by clients and bosses. Maybe they didn’t like the question or the questions were irrelevant to the purpose of the interview. After all, the job of a PRO is to manage an organizations image, brand and reputation…everybody does have a job to do, right?

She looked at me quite amused and concurred that both sides have a side to the job that really sucks! And there’s really nothing anyone can do about it! The world of communication is going to chug along, anyway, whether you like it or not. Que Sera Sera…right?

Say 'Blue' Cheese

I was a little girl when the lyrics of Anak Singkong, blazed through the radio waves on a daily basis. It was a catchy song and it took the audience by storm. I remember it being very popular with my favorite being, “aku suka singkong, kau suka keju, ah! ah! ah!” What I didn’t know then was the hidden message that rings true and deep into the Asian souls that now disturbs me right to my core.

The occupation of the West has long left Malaysia. This year, Malaysia celebrates her 54th years of Independence. Unfortunately, the master and servant mentality still plaque many of us and that is a sad reality. An ex-colleague once described Asians similar to dancing pagans, running in circles and worshiping these white men (and women) like our forefathers once did around fire. We still feel inferior and they remain superior because we let them.

I once queued at a hotel to get my room key with a Caucasian man standing behind me, waiting for his turn. Once the counter was opened, the desk counter lady waived for the man behind me and ignored my existence. I was naturally agitated and walked up to her and said, “Who’s your manager you little ingrate! You think my money is worth less than the Mat Salleh behind me? I probably am paying more than he is because I am here on a corporate account! I want to talk to your manager NOW!”

The Mat Salleh was embarrassed and stepped up to apologize on the ignorant counter girl’s behalf and told her that I came first and should get preferential treatment. He said he could wait for his turn. But, now adamant, I insisted on the manager and created a bloody scene.

The manager came and I waived my corporate reservation and gave the manager a piece of my mind…I got an upgrade and a fantastic service aftermath! The Mat Salleh caught up with me at the pool and bought me a drink. I politely declined but had a cordial conversation, very much keeping the ball in my court! I was determined to have the upper hand and show him who’s the master. It really isn’t that hard to take pride in your existence, and a civilized individual would easily recognize such substance. I am sure, the Mat Salleh left my company with a new admiration for my Asian bred tenacity, if a little annoyed with my arrogance, I really don’t care.

The subtle superiority complex can be seen everywhere in the company of the Mat Salleh. May they be British, American, Australian and Brazilian; for some funny reason being white gives them the right to criticize and be haughty amidst the coloreds. They mask their conversation as jokes, making fun of our language, our food, our social conducts and even our celebrations. They do it openly and in my opinion, gullibly and ignorantly accepted by the locals; most often to the men, women and families these Mat Salleh marry into.

A typical Leng Chee Kang.  YUM!

My husband and I had the opportunity to regain some honor for our Asian folks and pretty much ‘subtly’ expressed our non-acceptance of Mat Salleh whims and nonsense talk about Asians. A westerner was ‘subtly’ making fun of local delicacy, the “Leng Chee Kang”, one of my favorites that is a dessert made from boiling herbs and sweets, plus some fungus for that extra crunch. They said it was murky and, “I’m not surprised there’s fungus in there.” And the room burst in laughter…I thought, errr, not funny. I love my Leng Chee Kang!

The King of Fruits

Then the topic of durian came up. The Mat Salleh said, “…there is a reason why the nose was positioned above the mouth – it’s to stop from putting grossly stinky stuff into it”. Another burst of laughter! Well, okay, I must give it to him that the nose part was funny, but I love my DURIANS. I had to say something!

The Creamy Flesh that is Durian!

I said, “Durians to us are like blue cheese to you! That’s rotten milk that you allow fungus to grow. It stinks and it tastes like crap. But it is your delicacy…right?” Taken aback, the Mat Sallehs (plural here) looked at me, went mildly silent and meekly said, “fair enough”… I said (under my breath), in the spirit of the Morning Crew…GOTCHA!!!

The point here is, if we are proud of our culture, we should not allow anyone to make fun of it in a degrading manner. Although we should be able to laugh and make fun of each other, because lifestyles are quirky, we shouldn’t allow foreigners to belittle us for being who we are. There will be an exchange of mutual respect, if only we demand it for ourselves. For as long as we believe we are beneath the Mat Salleh, then we will always remain the dancing pagan worshiping the false fire Gods!

After all, many foreigners are here with family in tow, making a living and enjoying the luxury our land is giving them. If there is so much to criticize, why are they still here? They say, when in Rome do as the Romans do. We should say, "you're in Malaysia...deal with our quirks! Your rules don't apply!"

Anak Singkong
the lyrics


Kau bilang cinta padaku
Aku bilang pikir dulu
Selera kita terlalu jauh berbeda

Parfummu dari Paris
Sepatumu dari Itali
Kau bilang demi gangsi
Semua serba luar negeri

Manakah mungkin
Mengikuti caramu
Yang penuh hura-hura

Aku suka jaipong, kau suka disco
oh! oh! oh!
Aku suka singkong, kau suka keju
oh! oh! oh!

Aku dambakan seorang gadis
Yang sederhana
Aku ini hanya anak singkong
Aku hanya anak singkong