Being Woman

On my birthday this year, a good friend of mind from college, now a journalist took me out for lunch.  And as much as we tried to stay casual and have girl talk, we ended up talking, like two true media players, topics on public issues.  One of our topic of interests were issues on girls and their future as women.

Underage Marriage is Prevalent in many Patriarch Society

My friend told me that while deciding what she wanted to do with her life, she decided to take up a temporary teaching job in a rural school, populated by mostly poor minority students.  She was a truly dedicated teacher and believed in her students.  She chose to teach the neglected and those other teachers labeled as rebels and a lost cause.  The students found new source of hope and strived to excel - and they did.  So, it was no wonder that it broke my friend's heart when one female student dropped out of school to be married because her father said so!  Such patriarchy has not left our so called modern and civilized world.

Reflecting on my childhood, it hit me that life as a girl was complicated.  Then again, as a woman it has not actually gotten any better. But, as an educated and independent woman, it got me through life a whole lot better.  I get to open my mouth a little bit more, especially because I am usually better prepared and well read than my male counterparts.  I am also more proactive than reactive, plus I am more willing to get my hands and feet dirty, burn my ass and argue my ass off to get my points across. Yup! I'm that girl who everybody loves to hate but can't really do without because I get my job done.

In my first few jobs, I encountered an Executive Director (ED) who was simply self absorbed. He thinks he is above the rest because the CEO in HQ thinks the world of him.  Of course, given that the corporate world IS a man's world, it was easy for him to get away with murder.  He was one of the greater manipulator I have met in all my years of living.  He would make us all come early while he struts in after lunch smelling like LUX and sets meetings at Maghrib (Muslim's evening prayers).  Then he would make the girls write the minutes and later invite the boys out to Yam Cha!

A memorable request from my ED reflected one of the many risks of being smart, educated and woman.  He called me one day and said that our company, which is an arm to the main company, is short on cash for the upcoming business year.  He highlighted that I graduated from the US and from one of the best schools in journalism.  I majored in advertising, hence have skills in writing, communication and persuasion.  Then in one breath he said, "...you're now a communication executive.  I want to you take the CEO out and show him a good time.  While at it, see if you can convince him to invest more in our company next year.  His wife will not be coming along!  That should be up your alley, right?  You did graduate from the US..."

I am an Educated Woman

Huh?  What's that supposed to mean?

Naturally I rebutted and asked, "Why me?" He said, "He likes girls."  I walked out and had a tough time getting a raise and promotion though work kept on piling up.  A colleague of mine, at that time, told me that he had insisted that she drank alcohol with the bosses to stay in the game.  She declined and said, she's Muslim.  He said, "I won't tell."  She said, "You're not my God."  She too never got her promotion or raise.

In all this time, we watched our male counterparts laze at work, never complete their assignments but goes off Yam Cha with  bosses at night and within two years, raised up the corporate ladder and lined their pockets with wealth.  Both my then colleague and I resigned.  In the 3 months I put in my letter, my salary raised from RM1,600 to RM1,800 to RM2,200.  Imagine that?  I left anyway.

Evidently, being a girl is still tough in the modernized and civilized Malaysia.  Independent for 54 years, but the women are still treated like she belongs in the kitchen and bedroom only.  I remember an ustaz (male religious teacher) in college who commented in our lecture hall that a woman can study far and attain the highest degree, but still return to the kitchen to cook and clean for her man.  We were appalled and wrote in a complaint against it.

I believe that it takes a strong woman to stand up to egoistic chauvinist and a stronger woman to raise their daughters to be unafraid.  I have much to thank my mother who has made me who I am.  My mother is indeed a woman of substance of her time and generation.  She is a divorcee and was labeled a slut and unworthy because it must've been her fault that her husband left her.  Any men, single or married, seen with her would be accused of being bewitched by my mother's mumbo jumbo.  Both men and women of her generation hold very little regards on divorced women.  Till now, I hear people say in suspicion, "what kind of a daughter does a divorcee raise but home wreckers!" Sad eh?

I think I heard a saying that says a civilization is measured by how well it treats its women.  I am adding this link because it tells us in a few simple facts why women should be educated.

http://gccblogs.concernusa.org/2011/08/05/top-5-educate-a-girl/