Finding My Clarity

Four decades is a long journey living in other people’s opinion.  There’s other people’s fear; other people’s hopes and dreams; other people’s needs; other people’s insecurities…the list is quite long and we somewhat extend the list as we mature into adulthood - decade after decade.

Since young, I’ve been told that I’m strong and powerful, and that is an excellent trait.  Since young, I’ve also been told to change to fit the expectations of people around me.  I’m sure these contradicting compliments and requests are not new to anyone.  After a while, our ‘whole’ person who constantly receive little needle punches of contradicting statements and advises eventually experience huge gashes of wounds spilling out unnecessary pain into our guts and pollute our heart and brain.  

Decades later, we end up a confused damaged lot picking up after ourselves because other people’s opinions always mattered more than our own.  A journey that must be curbed and nipped at the bud because my recent experiences have shaded that all these yucky gooey pain we keep in our hearts and subconscious gets projected as negative energy that simply begets more negativity in our lives.

What is the point of being unhappy when we are worthy of everything that is good in our lives?

Listen to your voice

With Clarity Comes Power

I’ve learned the beauty of listening and truly hearing the conversations of others.  Once I conquered the ability to step back and breath, it is clear that many accusations of self is merely the reflection of those throwing it at you.  Listen carefully and you’ll hear their pain, their insecurities, their self loathing and mostly their ego and need to be right.

And this is okay.  Don't get upset.  Usually they will pick the best mirror image and measure themselves against it, and when the benchmark is not met, they get unsettled.  If they chose you as their mirror, be honoured and pay attention; they may need it more than you.  Sometimes, people need to be heard.

I think our role is to step back, recognise it and know that all these reactions are their issues and not ours.  It's an opinion that isn't ours...but worth a listen. Allow them to vent and listen attentively, they will need the attention. But, as we walk away, shed off what isn't ours, learn and then breath the abundance of love and energy that is available to us from so many people who treasure us just the way we are.  

It's okay to walk away and be loved

Always remember that we are as real as we make ourselves be.  Find our truth and embrace it wholeheartedly.  Only we can believe in ourself before others catch on from the beautiful light of energy we have the power to project to the universe.  Then say a prayer and hope the unsettled will find their inner peace and balance too.  Perhaps our positive thoughts will flow through them and help heal.

A Lifetime Journey

Granted that we learn and still stumble, but the knowledge will be a strong guideline to help us centred.  Keeping ourselves in the company of those seeking honest relationships and healing is a good idea.  The conversation stays positive and the support is almost always holistic.

I'm not saying that we should abandon those who are in pain and avoid them because their issues are not our issues.  I am saying listen and help, if you must, but prioritise YOU. You owe you the right to live a life you choose.

It is never too late to start anew.

The choice is always yours

The Power Struggle

Till death do us part, I will always be right.  Aaaahhh…the age old drama. 

I was recently presented with the idea of the power aura. Someone told me that one can enter a room and just by presence, intimidates.  There would be many reasons why without even uttering a word, a person with powerful aura can invite discomfort and resistance.  Sometimes, some in the audience feel intimidated because they yearn the power but have none.  Others resist because they’d like to believe that the power is in them and that they are more deserving, but know that power eludes them. But the one with the aura, gets all the bashing but they didn’t even ask for it…seems unfair, eh? 

Whatever the reason, my question begs the answer as to why would you want to be in power?  Does it not get absolutely exhausting?

I watch arrogance crept into the heart of a weak leader and see him vomit sarcasm just to own his position.  I witness favouritism awake unfavourably for the strong but hovers over the weak with a blanket of excuses to protect all the wrong the latter commits.  Then I listen to different parties playing mediator and pouring more excuses masked as reasons to ‘help’ iron the situation.  Finally, I witness the avalanche of punches and finger pointing when the opportunity arise to drown the strong based on ONE oversight.  One even gave a one-liner “advise” she is completely incapable of committing in her household…amazing!

From the horrendous experience, I concluded that the strong with powerful aura is NOT ALLOWED to make mistakes or be in any state of confusion, but the weak could literally NOT DELIVER but would nonetheless raised on the highest pedestal because it makes ‘others’ feel good about themselves.  

So, what is it about power that everyone MUST own even if it means garnering strength in mass to punch one light out?  When rubbed the wrong way, the immediate rush of response to defend can be quite deafening. I read words of anger composed, accusations fly from every corner, unwarranted sarcasm fuelling the emotions and more jumped in the party because anger is so highly toxic but addictive.  How is this “toxic” power and leadership?  It feels hateful to me.

Tim Kreider said, “One reason we rush so quickly to the vulgar satisfactions of judgement, and love to revel in our righteous outrage, is that it spares us from the impotent pain of empathy, and the harder, messier work of understanding.”

What then would be the more powerful?  Being right or being powerfully steadfast?

I was told by the same someone who introduced to me the term powerful aura that one with power needs to learn to harness and manage the power to be more welcoming.  The immature, the afraid, and the weak will always be exactly what they are.  

Post the power drama struggle I witnessed, I have concluded that the trick about power is not to struggle.  Real power means to let those who have the strong desire to proof that power is in them to continue to run the drama.  It’s more relaxing that way…because at the end of the day when true power walks into a room, the room WILL STAND STILL in recognition.  

Struggling is unnecessary.