Bitter Sweet

"Parting is such bitter sweet sorrow that I should say good-night until it be 'morrow."

                                                                                                                     - Shakespeare 

I have bid many farewells in my lifetime.  Each time, it takes a piece of me and the void is never filled. 

I'm sure we all have experience death at one time or another and it takes a while to deal with loss.  Most times we don’t know how to feel, what to say nor what to do.  I usually withdraw and stay silent -- not my best trait.  I find it hardest to reach out to those most loved and those who lost the most.  

I miss my friend Paris, I miss my aunts Along and Mak Yang,  Uncle Hussein and I still see my grandfather in the hallways of Gombak — anticipating his routine walk after dinner. I still feel tremendous lost of never staying in touch with a college friend, Ozrin, who’s passing was only known years after she left.

My upbringing, however, taught me to stay steadfast and patient, for life is for the living and that all will come to pass.  I also have faith that we will meet again, as I believe that living is forever while life is temporary.

Still, recently I lost a mentor.  To soon, perhaps…but I looked up to him and wanted to learn more.  He was a giver and so sincere in his intentions, that even in the fleeting moment of knowing the good man, he has left a great impact.  I don’t know him personally but I truly felt the loss and it pains me.  So much good is needed and one is gone too soon.

Now I reflect on his stories when I experienced his genuine desire to share.  I can feel his energy lingers and I as I write, I am in disbelieve that it was only a week ago that I absorbed a good amount of knowledge in a session he gave so willingly. Yet, as I look at recent pictures, I understand that it was all planned.  I made the most shifts in the few shared moments and in every genuine answers he gave me at every question I posed.  

He told us to share whatever we took from him to at least 6 other people.  I acknowledge the privilege and I thank you, Mr Bellum Tan.

May you be rewarded with what you have given to so many…

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Mr Bellum Tan sharing his stories

Dinner the night before our learning