The Strength of Giving and the Courage of Receiving.

I have wanted to pen this down for weeks now.  It started with me planning a network education slot for my fellow members in BNI Gemilang when be jumpstarted our business year in January 2017.  I wanted to begin our journey by reminding members what it means to give and relate it not only to our philosophy of Givers Gain but also to the nature of humans to always wanting to be in a state of giving.

So, when I wanted to deliver the message of giving, I thought to myself, how do I share my journey of giving in BNI that became a turn around point for me as an entrepreneur?... because when I started my membership — giving was simply not true.

Islam practices zakat as an avenue to continuously give to the community we function in.  It is a good deed and condoned by the society. “The right hand that gives is far more noble than the left hand that receives”.  The belief system however somewhat skewed the concept when giving is a natural state of living and receiving was somewhat an unnatural state of being.  In my mind, I MUST always be in a state of giving to earn my credits and be viewed as honourable in the society.  Receiving, on the other hand, was for those who had nothing to give.

I was definitely way off mark, but that was my life…I give if I wanted to be honourable.  Yet, I found out that when I attempt to give more, I was labeled as trying too hard - a fake.  I struggled my entire life with this understanding that you need to give to be good, but not too good because then you will become a fake.  Imagine what that can do to the psyche of an individual?  People are just a complicated lot…aren’t we?

I believe that my situation is neither unique or out of the ordinary in any culture across the globe.  There is always that struggle to be good, but fear of being taken advantaged of, or be questioned for our intentions and many more ying-yang, black-white, good-bad relationship we battle with daily.  Then BNI came into my life when business was at its worst.  I adopted Giver’s Gain, even if during at a time of crisis, it was not true.  But I practiced and practiced and practiced that eventually, giving became a habit.

I remembered in my enthusiasm to invite and share my rewarding experience, one respected trainer asked me openly on Facebook, “may I know why you are so loyal to BNI?” (Note: the quote is written in essence and not verbatim).  My answer was simply that it works.  Giving may start as a struggle and not true, but the essence of a human being IS in giving.  It is in our nature to enjoy giving. It is rewarding to help others…even if it took a little longer to convert that into business transactions.

…but who will receive if everyone is giving?  This question never came to me until I tried to start a network education slot for my BNI members.  It never hit me what I have learned in the mere 4 years I have been in BNI.

So, I must thank the few people who had shared me their wisdom in the past years that accumulated and helped me come full circle and complete my journey of understanding the dynamism in giving and receiving.  

The great Ali Majis said, “we must give and give and give until the universe owes us a favour”.  I thought that was an awesome way of packaging Givers Gain and yet my heart was not filled.  Something was still amiss.  I was happy that it made sense, but I can’t seem to hit the nail on its head with it.

Then I listened to one of the speakers online about Islam who said, when someone wants to give, then you must not rob him the opportunity to do good…so receive and say your thanks.  As much as there is good in giving, there is a reciprocity of goodness in receiving.  Do both.  I though that was an amazing way to view Givers Gain and my thoughts of giving strengthened.  

I still struggled with receiving but gave it a practice.  My thoughts of giving were strengthened when I attended a session with Abang Abu, Mekanik Wang, and he said, “When somebody gives, take it so as not to rob him the opportunity to collect his good deeds for hereafter”.  I was blown away.  I just realized how important it is to also receive and that there is much good in receiving too.

Finally, I received my 'aha' moment when I shared my simple stories of giving and receiving on Facebook, and a beautiful soul commented, “The giver is often the most fulfilled.  The receiver is often the most happy”.  And just like that my cycle of learning was completed. It took me so many teachers and various universal taps to earn clarity on the facts of giving.  

The truth of the matter is not to see our glass half empty or half full.  The reality is often that our glass is full because we are either 'fulfilled' as the giver or 'happy' as the receiver.  

So, if anybody wants to know why I keep BNI close to me, no matter how much I struggle with human nature, is because Givers Gain keeps my glass full everyday.  Through it Allah swt feels even closer because it is in faith that I found the strength to give and the courage to receive.  How wonderful is HE to put me on this miraculous journey?  We find answers in such non-suspecting places and in the least ways of anticipating a shift of being.

So thank you to those who created the learning curve for me.  Thank you for making BNI a space that I learned human nature, human strengths and weaknesses, the value of relationship and friendship, the value of truth, of Givers Gain.

May we always be strengthened in our giving and be given courage in our receiving.  InsyaAllah.

#iammuslim

#bni

#giversgain